Sunday, December 28, 2008
Not feeling too well right now emotionally! A lot going through my mind, my future, my relationship, family, friends, I have been doing some serious thinking lately and there is just some things I would like to change about myself! I feel like I have no one to talk about it with. I mean, I do, but I feel like people might get tired of hearing me complain so I am keeping it to myself and just trying to take action on these things rather than just talk about it! I know something needs to be done because this past week or so I have come to do some major realizing! I have been basing my future on things that have happened in the past...I have come to realize that the past cannot be changed....and you can't predict the future...so the present is the only time that I can control, I can control my future to some extent I suppose! I just want peace and happiness and right now I am too stressed out 85% of the time to just sit back and relax! I have been pondering the possibility of maybe talking to someone professional, a life coach! I think he/she could help me a lot! Anyways, I'm just thinking out loud, this needed to be said so that's it for now! Just feeling down and looking at this picture of Jalisa made me smile! This is my new favorite picture of her!
I haven't been very loyal to my blog, I think about making a post from time to time but just never really get around to it!
Jalisa is now 15 months old, wow, its been 2 months since I have blogged! Christmas is over, Thank God, it just came and went way too quickly! Jalisa had quite the Christmas, I must say! I had an awesome time watching her unwrap gifts and playing with all her presents! I think the older you get, the more joy you get out of seeing your children unwrap gifts than you get out of unwrapping gifts yourself! My house is full of toys, Dora, Hello Kitty, legos, you name it, it's probably on my living room, bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen floor! HA!
Right now as I am writing this Jalisa is laying in her bed playing, she had me fooled, I thought she was asleep but I hear her toys rattling and I hear her giggling at herself! I think she has an invisible friend, it's also cute how she talks and laughs to herself!
So I took a break and went to make some coffee and check on my little brat and she is finally passed out! She looks so peaceful sleeping with her paci in her mouth!!!!
I must say I am really proud to be a mom, she has given me a whole new perspective on life, she has also shown me that just because I am a mom, doesn't mean that I can't still have fun! I have had the most fun in my life catering to her needs and spending time with my little family! She shows me that it is ok to to not be perfect! That I am definitely NOT, I try my hardest though! When I look at her, I can't help but see John's face, they just look so much alike, the only trait she has of mine is her pale skin, and I don't think that will ever change. We were meant to be very very white! :) I love my little princess with all my heart!!!!!!!